6 months ago today

First posted on: www.suzigarrod.com/blog, on 15th July 2017

6 months ago today, my mum died.

She took her final, gentle breath in this life at 5.20am on Sunday 15th January. I held her hand as she slipped away, kissed her lips, stroked her cheek and sang her favourite lullaby one last time.

Today, at 5.20am on Saturday 15th July, I sat in quiet reflection; silently honouring her love and her life, shedding the tears of a daughter who misses her mum; whilst watching the dawn of yet another new day without her.

As I sat down to do my morning practice, I spotted a black feather, a symbol of the sorrow and the grief that I was feeling at the time. The shadow of my heart.

When I finished my practice I walked through the fields for hours, listening to the birdsong, connecting with the trees, the grass and the hedgerows; watching the cows and the sheep slowly begin their day. The shadow had lifted and I felt peace in my heart once more.

I reflected on how the soothing sounds of my tuning forks, the ebb and flow of my breath in meditation and the simple beauty of nature had brought me back home to myself once more; back to acceptance, back to peace and the knowing that all is as it should be.

At this point I came across a single white feather in the field, a symbol of the peace and acceptance that I was feeling at the time. The lightness of my heart.

I stood for a while holding the white feather in my hands, tears of joy and gratitude gently rolling down my cheeks.

I sent out a prayer of gratitude to the Universe. I gave thanks to all the teachers who have shared their wisdom with me and given me the tools to embrace both shadow and light with love; to Mother Nature and the healing messages she brings me through the blessings of her gifts; and to my ever-loving, beautiful mum, for I could feel her beside me, holding me close, sending me love and reassuring me that all is well.

As I neared the entrance to the field at The Healing Weekend, contemplating the day ahead, and wondering how I would feel when the throng of visitors arrived later that morning, I found a third feather.

This feather was black with a white spot near the tip – a sign that, no matter how much sorrow or pain there may be in my heart, there will always be a glimmer of joy and love to guide me back home; from the shadow to the light.

I was gifted with so many other insights on my walk this morning and will write a blog post over the next few days to share the messages I received. For now, my gifts to you are the amazing tools I use each day – my tuning forks and mindfulness meditation – the wisdom of the feathers and the infinite beauty of my mum.

Suzi xx